


Quidditch Banter

by BeccaBluejay



Series: Quidditch Banter [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Uhhhhh.....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 17:18:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17646677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaBluejay/pseuds/BeccaBluejay
Summary: Draco commentates on a match.





	Quidditch Banter

It was the dawn of a new day. And a new Quidditch match. Harry fixed his glasses, casting a silent charm to protect them against any Bludgers and rain. The sky was clear and cloudless, but the temperamental Scottish weather meant that in a matter of minutes it could be lashing rain and Harry didn't want to leave anything to chance. This match was important. It was Gryffindor against Ravenclaw which usually could be friendly and moderately light hearted, but today, the stakes were high. If Gryffindor didn't win this match by a certain margin, Slytherin took the cup before the final even began.

Both teams walked out onto the pitch. Conditions were as perfect as they could be for flying. The sun was shining and wisps of white cotton candy trailed listlessly across the light blue expanse. Harry breathed in excitedly as the team captains shook hands with an amicable rivalry. Then the sharp sound of the whistle sliced the air and the teams mounted, and off they went!

"And the Gryffindorks get the Quaffle." Harry pulled up above the people zooming across the pitch and looked across at the stands in shock. In place of the usual jubilant Lee, Draco Malfoy stood scowling miserably in the announcers area. His pale eyebrows were drawn in a deep frown as he glared out at the pitch and his silver eyes flashed angrily, obviously annoyed at having to commentate on the match. "And they drop it, just handing it politely to the eagles. Which is utterly ridiculous. The house is called Ravenclaw, people, why isn't their emblem a raven? Sorry, I believe that would be too logical." He added petulantly.

Harry sighed. This was going to be an interesting match. He hovered on his Firebolt above the match, watching the game intently and searching for the Snitch, all the while listening to Malfoy's unintentionally amusing commentary. "One of the Weasel twins hits a Bludger towards a Ravenclaw chaser, I don't know which one. No one knows which one of you is which! It's preposterous! Fix it. Wear a nametag or something."

Students in the stands could be seen trying to refrain from laughing, most of them failing miserably. Suddenly, Harry noticed the snitch hovering near the Ravenclaw seeker and quickly dived in the opposite direction, praying that the other player would catch the bait. His plan worked. The Ravenclaw seeker, who had been watching Harry closely, dived after him immediately.

"And Scarhead dives, presumably looking for the snitch, which is ridiculous because they need to win by over fifty points. Just look at the idiot, with his stupid messy hair that never lies flat and just in a perpetual soft floof. With his stupid quirky round glasses and stupid emerald eyes with their stupid bright greenness." If Harry had been watching carefully, he would have seen Pansy face palm heavily. But he wasn't, so he didn't. Instead he was surveying the pitch once again, after having lead the Ravenclaw seeker on a merry chase. He shook his head in confusion at Draco's words.

"He really needs to work on his banter." He murmured idly. Soon, Gryffindor were up fifty and the real work began for the young player. He focused on searching for the snitch, ignoring the rest of the match and his surroundings, which was a shame because the commentary only got better.

"The idiots are up by sixty now and the stuck ups are barely trying to win. Look at that ridiculous flying! IT'S NOT PASS THE PARCEL IT'S BLOODY QUIDDITCH! STOP GIVING THE OTHER TEAM THE BALL! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO- THEY'RE LITERALLY HAVING TEA MIDAIR! WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS?!" And true to his outraged word, one of the Ravenclaws had a thermos in hand and was passing a cup to his fellow teammate. Draco was practically hopping with madness as McGonagall tried to calm him down disaprovingly and commentate on the actual match and score.

Harry of course was completely oblivious to all this as he hovered on his broom. "How is Potter the only one taking this seriously?! The only time he looks this serious is when he's either saving the entire wizarding world again or eating a fucking treacle tart! Because of course treacle tarts are his favourite dessert, I mean, he's practically in love with the bloody things, his eyes light up whenever he takes a bite. Absolutely ridiculous. And it's not like they're rare, he has one every bloody evening after dinner! He eats them almost as much as he drinks pumpkin juice! Which is horrendous for his teeth, drink some water from time to time!"

The students in the stands were cringing heavily. Not to mention the teachers. Snape made a mental note to have another talk with his godson about the fine line between hatred and obsession. Meanwhile, Harry had seen the snitch flitting across the field and urged his broom to go faster as he zoomed in between players. Effortlessly he caught the snitch, as expected. Immediately a barrage of gold and red descended upon him and the pile up drifted to the ground as fans streamed from the stands onto the pitch.

Up in the commentators box, Draco was cursing their win and holding the microphone away from a flustered McGonagall who was trying to pry it away from the hands of the outraged student. "Stupid Gryffin-Harry and his-Oof!" Snape and McGonagall fell onto the blond in an unfortunate pile up. A mess of limbs tried to disentangle themselves from the jumble but only Draco's arm could be seen protruding from the ball, still clutching the microphone.

As they walked away from the pitch, Ron eyed the stands dubiously. "What did Forge slip in his drink?" He wondered. Harry spun to him, still grinning broadly and clutching the snitch victoriously, exalted over their win. "What?" He asked breathlessly. "Ferret's commentary." Harry shrugged. "Eh, I stopped listening after he insulted my hair. I was a bit busy." He held up the snitch again in euphoria and ran off to catch up with the disappearing crowd. Ron shook his head. "How? How are they so oblivious?" He muttered.

As a party raged on in the Gryffindor common room, Draco sat in the dungeons, moping and getting another lecture from Snape about Egypt. He knew the Nile is a river in Egypt, why did his godfather insist on telling him after every Quidditch match?!


End file.
